I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
