Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize