I got chris browned last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
