Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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