I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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