This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
