i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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