we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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