glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
