do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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