There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
