Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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