I look better un-naked...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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