is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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