then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
