I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
