You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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