guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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