We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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