i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
