not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
should my penis look like a turkey
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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