i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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