I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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