shes about as inviting as chlamydia
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize