so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
