Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
