I got chris browned last night
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
