It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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