i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
