she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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