thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
