so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How does it feel to date your dad?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
