where am i from again
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
