you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
