How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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