Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
