Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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