oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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