i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
In America we eat man semen.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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