So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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