Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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