i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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