How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
