Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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