It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
