if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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