i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
