Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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