I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
