if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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