Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk

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(602): View more from Arizona

And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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(816): View more from Missouri

After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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(303): View more from Colorado

That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday

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(513): View more from Ohio

apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday

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(334): View more from Alabama

I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys

(703): View more from Virginia

That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?

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