do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize