Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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