elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
