I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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