Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
