Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
