no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
