so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
