If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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