Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
