I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
