There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
