i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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