All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We're too hungover to prance.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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