I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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